September 8, 2014
by Bryne Yancey

Why hasn’t or The Fest attempted to lure Rogaine as a sponsor?

Let’s face it: The next time you’re at a show featuring melodic punk bands, take a look around and you’re gonna see a lot of receding hair lines, bald spots or choo choo train conductor hats, presumingly hiding one or both of those things. Hey, it’s just a fact of life that a lot of us are going to go bald—according to Wikipedia, which is always accurate and good, pattern baldness effects 70% of men and 40% of women at some point in their lives—pretty hefty numbers if you ask me. However, while I don’t have the science to back me up on this, it seems way more prevalent in the aging punk community. Like straight edge people really loving Disney movies, It’s one of those unexplainable phenomena that just is.

The Falcon know this, and like most things they do (though it’s been a while since they’ve done anything, eight years in fact), are treating it with a degree of Simpsons-esque irreverence. The band—featuring Brendan Kelly and Neil Hennessy of the Lawrence Arms, and Alkaline Trio’s Dan Andriano—unveiled a new song titled “We Are The Bald” today via AV Club and it’s just about what you’d expect from a few punk dudes pushing 40: Fun vocal parts from Kelly and Andriano, a nearly unwavering aggression and Hennessy’s vastly underrated work behind the kit. Has #oldpunx reached critical mass?

“We Are The Bald” will appear on Red Scare Industries: 10 Years Of Your Dumb Bullshit along with 16 other new songs from Red Scare bands past and present. The label’s 10th anniversary party happens Oct. 25 at Metro in Chicago, with a warm-up acoustic show at the Knitting Factory in Brooklyn on Sept. 26.